Between: A guide for parents of eight to thirteen-year-olds

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I found the chapter on raising a financially literate tween one of the most interesting and am already putting ideas I read into place to open these conversations and teach money management. There is a lot of food for thought as well as practical tips on how to prepare our tweens for real life. Do a couple of practice runs of their school journey, especially if your tween will be using public transport or walking. So much has been written about toddlers and teenagers that I was under the impression that these middle years were the smooth bit. As a parent of a ten year old I am now very aware that there is already a lot going on and I feel like two different people inhabit his body sometimes. The child I had, and the teen he is preparing to grow into. This is the first book I have seen that covers this 'between' stage and I like Sarah Okwell-Smith's approach to parenting so I was excited to see if it would help me navigate these pre teen changes. I don't tend to read parenting books often but I am happy to accept any help to equip me through these challenges, especially knowing I have another four children to guide through this stage. Vairāk par visu bērniem ir vajadzīga mūsu beznosacījuma mīlestība – vienalga, vai viņi gūst panākumus vai pieļauj kļūdas, kad dzīve ir viegla un kad dzīve ir grūta.

She notes: ‘If they aren’t old enough to understand logic, how are they going to understand the logic between you hitting them, and their behaviour?’ See if you can find other new starters and arrange a lunch date with them before term begins. Local social-media groups are good for linking up with other parents. It explores key issues, including: why tweens can be moody, rude, lazy, and impulsive—and how to cope with their behavior; what happens during puberty—and when and how to talk to your tween about it; how to navigate friendships and romantic relationships in the tween years; how to encourage good mental health and body image; managing screen time and avoiding common pitfalls; and supporting the transition to secondary school.Of course, the above tips have focused solely on helping your tween to cope with the transition to a new school, but it’s import- ant not to forget what a big experience it is for you, too. Try to attend any new parents’ information evenings and take advantage of offers to chat with form tutors before, or soon after, your tween starts school. Most schools will run a parents’ evening towards the end of the first term, which will give you an opportunity to meet your tween’s teachers and hear about how they are settling in. I think one of the hardest things about being a parent or carer to a tween at secondary school is having far less involvement with school than you had previously. It feels strange not knowing their teachers well or what room they will be in at any given time. You do get used to the change, but it can often take parents longer than tweens to feel at peace with the transition. So, with this in mind I’ve tried to come up with my idea of the definition of gentle parenting, ultimately I think it can be summed up with three words:

He’s in full support of the law change, ‘because a child’s right to protection from physical assault (a legal protection adults enjoy) matters more than a parent’s right to assault their child.’

Summary

We were still children, for all that we thought we weren’t. We were in that in- between place, the twilight between childish things and grown- up things.’ Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook , Christina Henry Sarah specialises in ‘gentle parenting’ (she is often credited as being the founder of the movement) and childism (the unconscious discrimination of children in society). The early chapters focus a lot on how it isn't hormones necessarily to blame for those changes but the brain and I am already finding this new understanding to be powerful when it comes to how I approach my own tweens. Full of practical parenting advice that will give you the tools to guide your child through this time' Daily Express

Do let your tween’s form tutor and whoever is responsible for student wellbeing know if they are feeling very anxious before starting. Often, schools have special settling-in procedures for tweens who they think will struggle. Try to focus on the positives. Ask your tween what they are most looking forward to about starting their new school. Speak about the new opportunities they will have and the activities they love. You could also find out what lunchtime and after-school clubs will be running and share the list with your tween, to build excitement. Time passes in the blink of an eye. Surely it was only yesterday when that warm, mewing bundle was placed in your arms, eyes fixing on yours with all the intensity and knowing of an old soul who has lived many times before, yet in a tiny body, so fragile and new. Through sleepless nights and weary days, you came to know each other. Your world and your priorities shifted, and you slowly assumed a new identity that centred upon your child. A child who orbited you like a satellite, with you the safety of a home planet and the constant pull of gravity keeping you tied as one. Their dependence on you sometimes felt so very heavy, so all- consuming, and there were days (and many nights) when you reminisced and wished for your carefree past. Reassure your tween that all new starters will have worries, even those who look cool, calm and collected on the outside. Help them to understand that a degree of apprehension is totally normal with such a big transition ahead of them. The following are some of the most common anxieties tweens experience before the move to a new school, according to research:Jūsu mazajam pusaudzim ir nepieciešams, lai jūs būtu viņa advokāts. Viņam ir jāzina, ka jūs esat viņa stiprā klints un pat tajos brīžos, kad jums būs grūti, jūs viņu aizstāvēsiet, atbalstīsiet un nodrošināsiet, ka pret viņu izturēsies ar līdzjūtību un cieņu, ko viņš ir pelnījis. Tas, ka jūs esat gatavi iestāties par savu mazo pusaudzi un viņu aizstāvēt, ir pats galvenais, kas ļaus viņam saprast, ka jūs vienmēr būsiet viņa rīcībā. Tas savukārt nodrošinās daudz lielāku iespēju, ka mazais pusaudzis jums atvērsies un lūgs palīdzību, kad tas būs nepieciešams. Whatever worries tweens may have about the transition to a new school, the two most important responses from parents and carers are, firstly, to listen and, secondly, to empower them to cope with their concerns. The following tips can help with the latter: The CEO of NSPCC, Peter Wanless, doesn’t agree with the criticism that this is ‘new age dogma’ that will lead to a ‘snooping’ culture. Why Your Baby's Sleep Matters (Pinter & Martin Why It Matters 1)". Pinter & Martin Publishers . Retrieved 19 April 2016. We need to be promoting and encouraging children to learn how to regulate their own emotions and behaviour through learning how to breathe and regulate,’ she adds. ‘Instead of having outbursts they learn to control their own behaviour but this can only be done if we co-regulate our own emotions too.’

Gentle discipline calls for parents to work with their children to resolve problems that underlie their difficult behaviour, rather than acting punishing out on them. Sarah is a mother of four young adults. After graduating with an honors degree in Psychology; she embarked on a career in Pharmaceutical Research and Development. After she became pregnant with her first child, Sarah retrained as an Antenatal Teacher, Hypnotherapist, Infant Massage Instructor and Doula. Since 2005, she has worked with thousands of families, providing expert advice and support.Even if the school is running settling-in sessions, ask if you can have a video tour of the building, or at least some photos of your child’s new form room and form tutor. Familiarising themselves with these before the beginning of term can help them to feel more comfort- able when they start. Physical punishment is not a necessary part of disciplining children and can be harmful to the wellbeing of both child and parent.’ This is because children look to their parents to learn how to behave, explains Early Years Consultant Vanessa Dooley. If parents react to strong emotions by hitting, children will think that violence is an appropriate response to anger. Try to buy any uniform needed several weeks before the start of term, so that your tween can wear it around the house, including new shoes (blisters in the first week aren’t fun). If they must wear a tie as part of their new uniform, keep practising at home until they are a pro at tying it.