The Human Santapede

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There’s variety and humour throughout the novel, and most importantly, there’s a damn good plot to keep the whole thing tight as an elves arsehole. from me, it’s on KU so I didn’t have to spend any additional money on it which is probably a good thing tbh. Getting humour in fiction right, especially this kind of humour, is very difficult and it's a testament to Millard that he manages it with aplomb. He’s a selfish, foul-mouthed, slovenly, slave-driving, credit-hogging jerk more interested in brandy and mince pies than his sexy, eager wife. There’s more colourful witticisms and frisky quips than you can shake a Jessica Claus-soiled sugar cane at.

I truly think people will enjoy this more than they may give themselves credit for up front just based on initial judgments. It is, of course, a work of satire, playing off the unfortunate horror movie of similar title and theme (The Human Centipede). It has to be said that some of the most original, some of the most wildly eccentric and off-the-wall hilarious stories have been born from the small nugget of a comical ‘play-on-words-title’. The Land of Christmas is beset by a hooded figure who is kidnapping The Fat Bastard's elves, then performing abhorrent medical procedures on them. Luckily the snow had started to peter out, and with that, the elves could dig themselves out of their little homes and finally get back to work.

And that’s because, whether you’re cleverer-than-Stephen-Hawkins’-calculator or as thick-as-two-short-planks, whether you’re black or white, male, female (or a bit of both), whether you’re rich or poor, fat or thin, whoever the hell you are – each and every one of you will be amused by this joyfully festive romp. We’ve got everything we need in this oddly tantalising book for a delightfully seasonal Christmas romp. Every now and again I’d catch a glimpse of a fellow passenger chuckling or sly smirk from across the carriage as they noticed the cover of the paperback I was shamelessly reading.

Adam Millard is the author of twenty-nine novels, thirteen novellas, and more than two hundred short stories, which can be found in various collections, magazines, and anthologies. I loved that it had other Christmas characters not normally talked about as well as the normal ones.To enable personalised advertising (like interest-based ads), we may share your data with our marketing and advertising partners using cookies and other technologies. Some things are just plain wrong…and let’s face it, a chain-gang of elves with their mouths sewn to the proceeding elf’s arsehole, headed up by Santa, his promiscuous ex-stripper wife Jessica, and good old Rudolf – it’s just wrong on so many counts. I laughed and enjoyed this silly, weird (In)Human Santapede parade because I have the sense of humor of a five year old. Turning off the personalized advertising setting won’t stop you from seeing Etsy ads, but it may make the ads you see less relevant or more repetitive.

Read more about the condition New without tags: A brand-new, unused and unworn item that is not in its original retail packaging or may be missing its original retail packaging materials (such as the original box or bag). I truly think people will enjoy this more than they may give themselves credits for up front just base on initial judgments… but I will let everyone make their own minds up about The Human Santapede! Often, the humour in these things becomes a bit wearisome but due to the brevity of it, it never outstays its vile welcome. New without tags: A brand-new, unused and unworn item that is not in its original retail packaging .

Can Santa – aided by his best foreman, Finklefoot – get his elves back, defeat Krampus, and save Christmas before it is too late, or will Krampus succeed in creating the ghastliest single-file organism the North Pole has ever seen? I read it in a single sitting, laughed out loud several times, and the rest of the family absolutely REFUSED to let me share any excerpts.