In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

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I found this book to be extremely validating for victims of coercive control/domestic abuse (both seen and unseen). I think this book is extremely helpful to all of us so that we are able to be hyper vigilant in our interactions with others, whether we are victims, family of friends of the abused or witnesses so we do not share in the injustice of the victims, through strengthening the perpetrator plight to control.

These are demonstrated through case studies, homicide reviews, and interviews with perpetrators and the families and friends of victims. Jane does a fabulous job of highlighting control ways we can all sometimes contribute to victim shaming and forces us all to take accountability in our approach of the victims of such debilitating, unsettling and trauma fuelled abuse. Things would've got a lot worse if not for the closeness of my family and the fact that he was unable to stay here for more than six months.

It was a whirlwind, with commitment happening far too quickly, he tried, but thankfully failed at isolating me from my family, he did manipulate me into leaving a job I mostly enjoyed though, and all of this happened in under six months. The book reminds us that coercive control is often difficult to identify and understand, despite its recognition in law. So pleased that this superb body of work has been read by so many and starting to influence policing and policies. Pregnancy makes emotional manipulation and violence more visible; stealthy, indulgent public prosecutors.

Having this knowledge will help you understand people, the ways control works and will help you be able to spot coercive or dangerous domestic situations, a skill you hopefully will never need, but is good to know nonetheless. Step by step, I could see the signs, I knew before, reading this book made me think more and realise more. Part case study, part social commentary and part memoir of a woman dealing with domestic homicide, In Control shows that there are clear signs when a relationship is about to turn violent - we've just been trained not to see them.As a former police officer, what would you like to see the police do about domestic control and violence?

to protect themselves (which may appear to be self sabotaging to third parties) and historical and existing cultural norms, practices and laws that protect abusers or make it difficult for the abused to exit situations. But I would say the relationship won’t just be pushed along at a speed but also with all of these possessive things going on like pronounced jealousy. The best way to describe this book is that if domestic abuse and coercive control had never touched my life, this book would be able to educate me about these patterns. It took me a long time to read as some of the material is pretty heavy going and needs some 'away from the book' processing. By completing your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and authorise Audible to charge your designated card or any other card on file.We all do our best to navigate the world as safely as possible, but there are some patterns of behaviour that seemingly defy logic, and an expert’s opinion (such as Monckton Smith’s) is a gold mine of information on how to understand these scenarios. As a police officer who works in this area this book has revolutionized my understanding of control and abuse with tangible changes I will take away. In this book, Monckton-Smith shares a glimpse into a world of toxic masculinity and coercive control, one in which the tools are shame and fear, helped along by a media and justice system who are far from shedding sexist notions of men and women's roles in society.