If I Let You Go: The Heartbreaking, Shocking Richard and Judy Book Club Pick

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I really enjoyed this book and really struggled to put it down. The short chapters made it such a fast pace read and I was constantly wanting to read more. This book had a slow paced thriller style to it which I really enjoyed and kept me on the edge of my seat at times. We find out something has happened to Janet’s daughter but we’re not made aware until quite a few chapters into the book which kept me hooked. A deeply empathetic exploration of grief, loneliness, guilt, toxic relationships and forgiving oneself. At its heart, this is a poignantly sad story, but it is told with such humour and warmth that one cannot help but enjoy every nuance drawn through the perfectly written prose." - Louise Fein

Janet was both the hero and villain in her own story - she was flawed, troubled and damaged, she made terrible choices but underneath it al was a kind hearted woman who just wanted to feel love and safety in a world that had none of those things. She found herself crushed under the pressure of not only her life but her newfound fame and infamy. The way she is written made me connect with her instantly, down to the way she thinks and the way she sees the world through such an intensely anxious lens. I found catharsis and companionship with her along her journey.Janet Brown is a cleaner. She lives with her husband, Colin, who controls her in pretty much every way possible and continues to pile on the guilt for something that happened eleven years ago. Basically, her life is mundane and miserable and she's simply surviving from day to day. But then she's involved in a train crash which gives her a chance at redemption for the tragedy that she believes is her fault. Unfortunately for Janet, nothing is quite as it seems and she gets deeper and deeper into a deceitful situation. Janet Brown works as a cleaner and she’s a very good one too as she finds gleaming surfaces calming. She’s married to Colin, who seems to punish her for any minor infraction as he sees it. One evening, she’s had as much as she can take and she makes a break for it channelling her inner Thelma or Louise. What follows on has far-reaching consequences she could not have foreseen as things utterly spiral out of control. I loved Janet who seems to be carrying so much on her shoulders. She's a brilliant creation, torn between doing the right thing and not caring because she doesn't really have anything to live for. Although this is a heartbreaking book in many ways, there is dry humour too and Levin does a really great job at conveying Janet's inner feelings, especially about Colin, whilst simultaneously giving the reader the fuller picture of Janet's rather cheerless life. Every morning Janet Brown goes to work cleaning offices. It calms her, cleanliness, neatness. All the things she's unable to do with her soul can be achieved with a damp cloth and a splash of bleach. However, the guilt she still carries about a devastating loss that happened eleven years ago, cannot be erased. This book tells the tale of Janet, a woman who is coming to terms with loss and trying the navigate the way out of her trapped life. It’s a slow thriller with fantastic characters and wonderfully easy to read.

Levin's debut If I Can't Have You was a must-read and this new book is just as addictive. * Good Housekeeping * As the story develops and we learn the full extent of the circumstances surrounding Janets past, I felt even more for her and boy did I want to slap her husband Colin! Though he is dealing with his own grief, his treatment of Janet and his emotional control of her was hard to read in places. Thank you so much to pan MacMillan, the author and of course @instabooktours for arranging such a fantastic readalong!If I Let you Go is the story of Janet who lives with husband Colin. They lost their daughter Claire as a child..Janet throws herself into her cleaning job; Colin blames Janet for what happened to Claire..Their marriage is unhappy. Colin is controlling and this and Janet’s grief trap her into a situation of deep misery…And then there is a train crash.. As above, I liked Nish. Despite how Janet treated her, she always tried to include, support, and be there for her. Then, Janet finds herself involved in a train crash and, recognizing the chance to do what she couldn’t all those years ago, she makes a decision. As news spreads of Janet’s actions, her story inspires everyone around her, and for the first time her life has purpose and the future is filled with hope. Then, Janet finds herself involved in a train crash and, recognizing the chance to do what she couldn't all those years ago, she makes a decision. As news spreads of Janet's actions, her story inspires everyone around her, and for the first time her life has purpose and the future is filled with hope. Authors, if you are a member of the Goodreads Author Program, you can edit information about your own books. Find out how in this guide.