Single on Purpose is created by The Angry Therapist, John Kim, who will also be in the rotation of experts. We are starting the podcast with 20 experts across the wellness space. I will recommend this book to someone who just went through a breakup, has a hard time being single, has an unsatisfying relationship, or, wants to find purpose in life while being single. This was a good book that taught me that sometimes what we think is love can be just be familiarity. Lastly, the most important relationship in your life is yourself and when you have a good relationship with yourself everything else will fall into place. Read more

Plot Summary - No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled.I love the way the story starts in the introduction. This book hooked me up, and I never knew there was a book like this. It is a highly recommended book for all, not just single people like me but everyone who wants to find themselves. Read more These were the thoughts sprinting through my mind as panic set in. But I had to tell myself I was choosing it. It was a decision that I don’t usually make, and I had to believe I would come out the other side better because of it. That’s what breaking a pattern looks like. Not just for me, but for all the clients I would go on to help. That was the fuel for me, the 92 octane. So I did it. And I am not going to lie. It was hard. Like, addiction recovery hard. But I took it a day at a time, like they say in the meetings. And slowly but surely, it got easier. Not only did it get easier, I became different. Things started shifting on the inside. I started to grow. The motivation to write this book came from coaching thousands of people in the last decade who experienced severe depression because they were single. Many of them had successful careers. Many of them had amazing friends. But because they had no one to kiss in the morning and do nothing with on a Friday night, they saw themselves as failures. They internalized the idea of not having a partner as being defective. Most had been in nothing but shitty, toxic, lopsided relationships, and yet being single was worse. They figured something was wrong with them, and they came to me to find out what that was. A lot of them were in their thirties or forties, and they felt like time was running out. They felt the sand in the hourglass draining as they lost more and more hope. No one really wants to “date themselves.” But all of us, at some point, need to be single—on purpose. After a series of failed relationships and a painful divorce, John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He knew that to move forward, he had to build a relationship with himself, to embark on a journey from alone and lonely to alone and fulfilled. I have a friend named Dion. We’re working on a project together. There’s crazy sexual chemistry. Before you ask, no, he’s not good for me. I know this. But I can’t stop thinking about him.

After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled.

Amy and Sean share a toolkit full of advice on dating after divorce, including mindfulness, self-awareness, and self-compassion, and they remind divorcees of what not to do, too. Healthy used to mean going to the gym for a couple hours and lifting weights. Today, healthy means so much more to me. Healthy means a good balanced diet. But being okay with a donut once in a while. Healthy means therapy to process shit. Healthy means quality time with friends. Healthy means cheat days. Healthy means cutting negative people out of my life. Surrounding myself with people who accept me and champion my story. Healthy means connecting, accepting, and loving my body. But to also practice discipline and push my body further than I think I can. Healthy means to sweat daily. Healthy means great sex that makes my blood flow and my heart race. Healthy means to stretch. Health means to distance myself from the thoughts that drain me and throw me into yesterday. Healthy means to stop future trippin’. Healthy means giving myself what I need. Allowing myself to feel. Healthy means being kind to myself. Healthy means drawing boundaries. Healthy means feeding my brain. Constantly. Healthy means practicing kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude. Healthy means meditation. Healthy means to get outside and feel the sun on my face. Sand on my toes. Healthy means a gas tank in between my legs. Healthy means naps. Healthy means self-care. Healthy is a lifestyle. After my divorce, I asked myself what I needed. I went to the bench a lot. I ate out at diners. I leased a roadster convertible and revved the shit out of it through the canyons blasting obnoxious music and wearing no shirt. And didn’t care. I took myself to the movies. Went on long walks. Pour myself into my passions. Started writing again. I needed to treat myself well. Better. I needed to do things for myself and not feel guilty about them. I also pushed my body harder than I ever have before. I needed to feel alive. I needed to like who I was. That is why the growth soil is so rich during the times between relationships. You have a limited amount of time to work on yourself and your life before you meet someone else. It doesn’t mean you can’t grow when you’re in a relationship. (This book is about that too—more on that later.) But let’s face it. When you’re in a relationship, you’re building something with someone else. You’re a part of something else. So it’s imperative to take advantage of the time you’re unattached. Instead of searching for someone to be with, you must explore you. Your patterns. Your definitions. How you love and why. Your dreams. The dent you want to make in this world. You must explore your relationship with self. You must be with yourself first. Whether you’ve embraced the advice in Single on Purpose or are just discovering Kim’s ideas, 31 Days of Single on Purpose can help you transform being single into a joyous, exciting period of personal growth filled with memories, deep work, play, forgiveness, and freedom.

Was leaning toward a 5 but a personal pet peeve, I am not looking for music recommendations from a book. There is an entire chapter with an annotated playlist and then he said Broken Social Science instead of Scene and I was even more annoyed. To be fair I’m having a bad day. My goal in writing this book is to start that process for you. To introduce you to you—for many of you, maybe for the first time. For John, it took donuts, barbells, and a motorcycle. For the thousands of clients he’s helped as the Angry Therapist, it was yoga, or salsa dancing, or finally speaking their truth. In Single. On Purpose., John takes his signature “self-help in a shot glass” approach and shows readers how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. In this episode, Dr. Bradley Bond shares his research and expert knowledge on parasocial relationships and the psychology of media with the SOP audience. Specifically he explores with Dr. Nina Polyné our perceptions of TV characters, and how this might relate to our social networks while being single. He also expands on how TV narratives can be helpful for marginalized communities (e.g., LGBTQ, elderly). Additionally, they explore why we get so wrapped up in celebrity lives, and at times, we tend to feel similar emotions of those we follow on social media when big life shifts occur (makeups and breakups). Finally, Dr. Brad offers his wisdom on how to live your best life while single, and if the shows we watch on TV influence the attractions we may have on potential dates. Along with his role as a professor, speaker and business consultant, he is also incredibly creative! He shares in the episode what led him to pursue a life of purpose-driven work, and he and Dr. Nina reflect on their 20 year + friendship.Lindsay interviews Paul Chamberlain, a certified crisis advocate and coach, husband and father, and the creator and host of the podcast Smart Funny Tortured. After suffering from over a decade of undiagnosed chronic illnesses and an inauthentic self he found himself struggling with profound depression and at times suicidal that led to separation from his family and near bankruptcy. Today, thanks to an abundance of love and grit, as well as a blend of traditional therapy, coaching, integrative medicine, and holistic lifestyle changes; he now lives a happy balanced life with his wife/business partner, their two kids and the beloved chaos bundle of pets. He now helps others shift their relationship with shame, find their true essence, and get cozy with the better parts of their Darker Angels. The truth is, you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Sure, a relationship can bring you lots of joy. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship—we’re all human. But a relationship is not required for you to be happy. It’s not the only way to find joy in your life. Your happiness isn’t contingent on loving someone else. That’s something that’s been programmed into you by movies, advertising, social norms, social media, and old blueprints.