Commando Dad: Basic Training: How to be an Elite Dad or Carer. From Birth to Three Years

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The first book Bruce recommended I read was “ Commando Dad“. He said it was a great tool for getting your head around the basics of childcare. He told me that if I had any parenting questions or needed any advice, I should not hesitate to ask. So perhaps I didn’t physically disappear (although that would make a good story) but it certainly felt like it. And that’s when I first realised that it’s very, very easy to become sidelined as a new dad. And not only in the delivery room, but beyond it too. The vast majority of advice, support and care is geared towards mum. Don’t get me wrong, parents need all the advice, support and care that it is possible to give them, but dads are parents too. And we have a crucial role to play, right from the minute we welcome our trooper into the world.

I was right by my wife’s side throughout, offering what comfort and support I could. And words cannot explain the feeling of finally holding my brand new baby trooper in my arms. It is an amazing experience, as any dad will tell you.

Perhaps you have friends who are parents. They might be a good place to start. The internet is also an easily accessible, but sometimes contrary source of parenting advice. Samaritans – Offer emotional support 24 hours a day, in full confidence. Call: 116 123. www.samaritans.org Chapter headings include: Preparing Base Camp (baby's bedroom); An Army Marches on Its Stomach (feeding); Welcome to the Thunderbox (toilet training); On Manoeuvres (transporting kids) and Dealing with Hostilities. In 1970, on a warm summers evening in July, my dad dropped my mum, who was in labour with me and my twin brother, off at the hospital and asked her to call him when she felt ready to cope with visitors. There didn’t seem anything unusual in that to either mum or dad, that was just how things were done. When their wives were in labour, men went off to work, or sat in the waiting room with flowers like in a Carry On film. Oh how times have changed.

It's also pretty funny. It's all written in kind of "prentend-military" jargon, which just makes it more fun reading. Overall these are very minor complains about an otherwise very good book. Remember that this is but one tool in what should be a very large parental arsenal.

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It may be couched in unfamiliar language, but this is all sound common sense. And even the most pacifist-minded of dads can see that the military metaphor works surprisingly (and entertainingly) well. Just as in the army, he says, morale is key: "I have a whole chapter on morale. It's crucial. Don't be hard on yourself. We all have bad days. Just because you make a mistake, doesn't mean you're a bad parent. And above all, don't be afraid to ask for help. You're never on your own, and you're no less of a dad – or a man – if you ask for help."