Brittany Leitner is a journalist and poet based in New York City and originally from San Antonio, Texas. Focus on touching yourself in a sensual way, and play with intensity and friction to see what feels good. Yup, just like there are great songs to have sex to, there are great songs to masturbate to as well.

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Caress your neck, chest, nipples, thighs, and those small erogenous zones that get ignored when you masturbate,” she suggests.The goal is to focus on what body parts feel good to you so that you can teach your partner in the future. But we know it can be tricky to communicate your desires if you haven’t practiced before, so…practice!

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Light some nice candles, take your time doing a few poses, and pay attention to how your body feels with each downward dog. Many people have reported heightened arousal, wetness, and orgasm intensity” from using CBD sex products, Stubbs says. And if Lust’s stuff isn’t for you, there’s a wide variety of ethical, feminist porn out there, most of which focuses on sex from a female gaze and not the hetero male fantasy seen in the days of yore. Living in tiny apartments or with roommates can be stressful enough; you don’t need to worry about your neighbors listening to your sighs and moans when you finally get into the mood. Arousal discordance, or a difference between your mental desire for sex and your physical arousal state, is extremely common,” says certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, an expert for Lelo.

Yes, drafting a sext to yourself can be a fun and potentially titillating exercise, but there’s nothing wrong with asking for a little help.

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You don’t even have to masturbate just yet (although if you turn yourself on and can’t help it, you do you!Also, a big perk: You can listen to it on your headphones at work to be horny by the time you get home. And honestly, sometimes the hookups on Netflix are even hotter than the stuff in porn because you’re so emotionally invested in the characters. Try repeating “You are not broken,” or “my body is beautiful,” out loud for a few rounds to help clear your mind and put you in a better, more positive headspace. Oh, and there’s also a section where you can listen to sexy stories which is *chef’s kiss* in a pinch.